Fatherhood: Week 23-Breathe
If I had to pick a theme that encompasses the last five months (other than fatherhood, of course), it is fear.
It is a daunting task being responsible for something so precious and fragile. Anything can happen. Horrible scenarios of losing the best thing that has happened to me fill my nervous, wandering mind. My brain is my greatest asset and worst enemy. Despite constant assurances that everything will be ok, I cannot push negativity out of my head.
This week, I had a breakthrough: breathing, meditation, mindfulness.
Earlier this week, I was stressing out because an article I was working on was not coming out of my brain in an exciting and captivating style. As I was about to give up, my watch reminded me to breathe. It seemed like a good idea. For one minute, I laid down and took several deep breaths. My heart rate lowered. My mind cleared. An idea for my article nestled itself into my cranium.
I've had a slight interest in meditation over the years. I bought a book once. I attended a free class. One of my favorite film directors, David Lynch, has a foundation dedicated to the practice. The man behind Mulholland Drive claims his best ideas have been the result of meditation, yet I remained skeptical. Meditation seems so closely aligned with new-age philosophies. I didn't want to become a person with a collection of quartz rocks strewn over the mantlepiece making pilgrimages to Sedona.
That is not me, but for that one minute, some of that mumbo-jumbo made sense.
For sixty seconds, I had no fear.
I was calm for one whole minute.
If this could help me write a 200-word article, can you imagine what it could do for me as a father? I could be one cool, confident, and collected dad.
Note: I am aware that meditation is not a substitute for seeing professionals, nor am I endorsing it. After my experience this week, it seemed reasonable to write about how it benefitted me. That is all.